To be or not to be?

Semlm BigBoss from HOU came down to see my boss. Biasa la normal discussion i guess. Lepas Big boss balik, boss aku kata nak jumpa aku. Ni mesti follow up pasal decision aku last week. Aku berdebaq debaq gak. Sekali time aku nak masuk adalak minah corporate hygienist from HOU nih kat dlm bilik bos aku-kacau daun sungguh.' postpone after lunch' katanye. Lepas lunch pun still ada disturbances gak, biasa la konco2 went in and out. At last almost 5pm baru dpt jumpa boss aku.
Dia habaq mai kat aku kata Bis boss suruh aku reconsider decision aku tuh as HOU will only moved end 2009. Itu semua org tau la beb as memo already went up. LAgi dia suruh aku re-consider as its a promotion to Mgr level ( Food safety Manager ). Tapi aku still firm ngan decision aku. Bukannye aku tak fikir pasal future aku, tapi once you become a mom, your children are everything. LAgi aku tau this position requires a lot of sacrifices . Kalau ada issue I tell you mau sampai berminggu2 pun tak settle . Itu kalau satu plant. Buat sekali 2-3 plant sekali serentak ada issue tak menanah? Aku dah see with my own eyes, went thru it all ( Even kalau ko rasa mcm nak terberanak, siapa pedulik ). I dont think I can sacrifise further. Mizan pun dah pandai tanye questions like : " Umi cuti hari ni ?" or "Hari ni umi balik siang?" . What will u feel when your own child start asking questions like that? aku time takdak maid haritu dah start to feel that i'm the worst parents amongst all. Htr anak paling awal, Ambik anak paling lambat. Time tu aku started to think that I need to put a stop to all this. Tapi if i'm still here at my current work location, nothing will actually changed.
At the same time boss aku tgh nak restructure the whole dept org. Even colleague aku yg baru balik from maternity leave and given new task tak sampai 3 bulan, now she's being asked to take care of the laboratory plak. Dia pun cam aku gak 2 org anak. Dia nye aim pun cam aku gak . Nak ke HOU. Hmm Kesian pun ye jugak kat boss baru aku ni. Tapi apa2 pun Baik aku kesian kat diri aku dulu kan. ;)